PS 愛してる
by abilityPOINT
Summary: Allen loves Lenalee, who doesn't notice Lavi's existence- even though he likes her. Full summary inside. Yullen, LaviLenalee, -ONE SIDED- AllenLenalee
1. NEVER

PLEASE READ! This story is in **no way** related to the movie (or book), P.S. I love you.

_Lavi always thought that Lenalee had feelings for Allen. Allen certainly returns those feelings and Lenalee doesn't seem to _notice_ Lavi at all. Lavi, being Lavi, has no choice. He simply ignores his feelings for Lenalee. But what happens when he learns that he has to leave behind all his friends on an expedition to find out more about his past?_

**Yullen, Lavena :DD**

* * *

_-Lenalee_

_I'm leaving the Black Order._

_I have some mysteries to uncover about my past._

_I will miss you._

_I wish I could stay here, stay here to protect and watch over you. But no, Gramps has other plans. He keeps saying that its time for me to find out about my history, so I guess it's goodbye for now._

_-Lavi._

* * *

Lavi looked at the paper in his hand, silently contemplating whether he should insert a 'PS.'. Deciding against it, he made his way down to Lenalee's room. He could hear voices inside, one of them belonging to Allen and the other Lenalee.

He sighed. It was expected, what else? Allen visited Lenalee every other day. It was common sense that today would be no different. Standing with his back to the wall, he read and re-read the letter. At last the door opened and Allen walked out.

Lavi smiled faintly at Allen, who did likewise and hurried off to his room.

Following that, he straightened and walked towards the door, before knocking. At last Lenalee responded with a "Come in!"

Hesistantly, Lavi pushed open the door. Lenalee was on the bed, writing something. "Ah, hi Lavi..."

Lavi walked over to the bed and handed her the paper, which he had folded into half. As he passed it to her, his eyes involuntarily glanced at what she was writing. The top line was 'Dear Allen, I love y...' The word was half-finished but Lavi could tell what she was about to write.

The moment he saw the words, his stomach lurched. Unable to continue, he pushed the paper into Lenalee's hands and rushed out, not bothering to close the door.

Lenalee and Allen, they were in love. He was so blind, had been so blind. All along he had been loving a girl who didn't know he existed. All along he had been loving someone who didn't love him.

Perhaps it would be better if he was gone, after all he _was_ a Bookman. With this he could finally rid himself of all emotion. It wasn't like anyone would notice he was gone. Well, maybe Yu. But Yu was anti-social; even if Lavi disappeared it wasn't like he would go around the world searching for him, like what Allen would do for Lenalee.

* * *

_-Allen_

_Take care of Lenalee. She loves you, and I know you love her. Make her happy, make her smile. She smiles because of you.  
Stay happy, Allen. Stay happy._

_-Lavi_

* * *

Review ((: please !


	2. Diaries and Letters

Note: Thanks to all those who have reviewed/ read. Two reviewers asked whether this was really a Yullen fic. Yes, it is. Except that for the first chapter I found it impossible to add in.

Anyway, here goes.

* * *

_Dear Allen,_

_I love you. I love you as a friend, but I cannot bring myself to be more than that for you. I'm sorry, really. I know Komui-nii would approve of us being an item, but I… I just can't be with you. It doesn't feel right. I'm sorry, Allen. I'm really sorry._

_-Lenalee._

* * *

**Dear Diary:**

**Well, today sucked. Lenalee was writing a letter confessing her feelings to Allen. To be expected, I admit. But writing it when I was giving her a letter? Lucky I erased that 'I love you' from the letter earlier on. **

**Gramps says that I have to pack and get ready to set off. About time too, seeing that it's almost noon. **

**I don't think I'm going to be saying goodbye to anybody. Maybe Yu, but then… it'll be so awkward. Forget it; I'll be going without telling anyone. Not Lenalee, not Allen. The two of them should be making out or something. Don't want to be interrupting them now, do we? **

**Guess I should make a move now. **

**Talk later.**

**: Lavi.**

* * *

-Lavi

What? Oh… thanks! …

-Allen

* * *

_-Lavi_

_Take care, alright? Send back news or something. We'll all miss you, even Kanda. _

_-Lenalee_

* * *

-Lenalee

I can't force you, Lenalee. If you really don't feel comfortable with me, there's nothing I can do, is there? Although you must remember that if you ever need help, I'm always here.

-Allen

* * *

**Dear diary,**

**I wonder what was up with Lavi yesterday. He gave me the paper and ran out of the room. Really unusual for him. He's going off today on some mission. I guess I'll miss those goofy antics of his.**

**Allen… I didn't want to disappoint him, really. But there's no denying that I feel awkward whenever I'm with him. I hope he's okay, though. His reply was so… straightforward. **

**I think I'd better go check on him. Either way, I gotta go.**

**Bye.**

**: Lenalee**

* * *

_-Moyashi_

_Do you mind not standing there like some lost idiot? You've been standing at her door for the past hour like a dummy, and _**_every time_**_ I open the door I see you. It's really getting on my nerves._

_-Kanda_

* * *

-BaKanda

What's your problem?! It's not even your door, why should you care so much?

-Allen

PS. My name is_ not_ Moyashi.

* * *

**What the HELL is up with that Moyashi? He seems so weird (and emo) today. Maybe Lenalee dumped him or rejected him? (Insert smirk here) **

**Whatever, why am I so concerned about a white-haired-bean-sprout-of-an-Exorcist? I should be more concerned about whether Jerry is going to put wasabi into my soba today. He did that the last time… or was it Usagi?**

**Heck, I hate wasabi.**

* * *

**Allen seems distracted.  
I'll talk later, I'm rushing to catch the train now.  
-Lavi.**

* * *

WHEES (: I decided to remove narration, and now the characters are 'talking' using their _diaries_. Yea, Kanda is worried for Allen. (Even though he doesn't want –or know- to) HEHEHE.

MUAHAHAHA.

Currently working on chapter 3, but until then, review pl0x. xD


	3. Rafnid

Thanks for all the reviews! Oh my gosh I can't believe I got _eight_ reviews! Thank you! :D

And as a reward here is a new chapter. Please review! (:

* * *

_-Lavi_

_Are you okay? You haven't sent us any news since you left for your mission. You _did_ promise Lenalee that you would keep us updated, wouldn't you?_

_-Allen_

_PS. Kanda says hi to the rabbit._

* * *

-Usagi

Why didn't you send news?! Lenalee's worried sick about you, dammit.

-Kanda

* * *

**Damn that moyashi. I can't stand seeing that weakling walk around the Order like some lost puppy (moyashi?). He's not supposed to even cry, he's an **_**Exorcist**_**! Crap I'm worried about him **_**again**_**. I'm not supposed to be! But I don't like seeing that adorable fac -oops, I meant cursed guy- cry.**

**I think all this stuff about the usagi is driving me mad. Can't he just admit his feelings already. Ugh, I think I need some soba. Crazy guy seems to drive others crazy.**

* * *

-(Ba)Kanda (Yu)

Are you trying to make me feel better or what? It's obvious Lenalee doesn't give two hoots about me. Didn't Komui tell you I'm going to Rafnid? I was in some remote part of the world with no reception whatsoever.

-Lavi

PS. Who do Yu think Yu are to call me Usagi!?  
PPS. You suck.

* * *

_-Allen (and anybody reading this over moyashi's shoulder)_

_Oops. I was busy rushing out a report for Komui. You mean he didn't tell you that I was going to Rafnid?! I'm seriously gonna kill some scientist when I get back.  
Yea, I'm fine. Sorry, was in a remote country with no access to any post office, so couldn't send any letters. I'm on the way to Rafnid. Yea, Rafnid, on the other side of the world. I'll send news when I can, currently writing this on the ship to a port city.  
I'll send news as soon as possible._

_-Lavi_

_PS. Tell Kanda he still sucks._

* * *

**I wonder if what Yu said was true, about Lenalee missing me. I don't know what to think; it's **_**impossible**_**, but Yu **_**never**_** lies…**

**And I didn't send any letters because I couldn't bear to, not because there wasn't any post office. **

**Wonder what the guys are doing now.**

…**Damn, I hate this ship. I could get there on my hammer but Gramps said no. Hell, this ship is freaking cranky. And it's getting on my nerves.**

**-Lavi**

* * *

**Dear Diary,**

**What's Lavi doing now? He didn't send news and I'm getting worried. Seems from the tone of his letter that he didn't want anyone to know where he went… OH! There's someone at the door, wait a minute… …**

**That was Allen. He handed me a sealed letter and headed off.**

**The handwriting is… Lavi's?!**

**I'll write after I finish reading the letter.**

**-Lenalee**

* * *

_-Lavi_

_ZOMG, I'm so glad you're fine…no, I'm kidding. I mean, I _am_ happy that you're alright. Yea, you get the idea. (: Come back soon, we miss your idiotic jokes. _

_-Lenalee_

* * *

**Tch…? Lenalee sent me a letter. She phrased it real weird. 'We' miss you, huh… I think I should ask her how she and Allen are doing. Let them know I'm happy for them or something. It's not gonna be hard pretending that I am happy anyway. I've lied for pretty much my entire life.**

**-Lavi**

* * *

**Know what? Lavi sent us a letter. And I… didn't know what to write, so I wrote an entire chunk of junk and sent it back. Oh, and the letter was addressed to Allen. Gonna have to give it back to him later.**

**-Lenalee.**

* * *

_-Lenalee_

_Yea, I miss you guys too. How are you and Allen?_

_-Lavi_

* * *

-Lavi

We're happy of course! :) Except that it's not the same as before, since we…

-Lenalee

* * *

**So I was right. They have begun their relationship.**

**-Lavi**

* * *

_-Lenalee_

_That's good ;)_

_-Lavi_

* * *

-Usagi

Don't. Call. Me. Yu.

-Kanda

PS. Who is BaKanda?

* * *

_-BaKanda_

_BaKanda is Yu. Dickhead._

_-Lavi_

* * *

-Usagi

Damn you.

-Kanda.

* * *

_-BaKanda_

_Did you just say 'Damn Yu?'_

_-Lavi_

* * *

-Usagi

Shut up already.

-Kanda

* * *

_-Moyashi_

_Komui is looking for you. Couldn't find you in your room. Urgent. Go to his office ASAP._

_-Kanda_

* * *

**It's still painful. The truth is always painful, I guess. At least she had the guts to tell me in such a straightforward manner. I doubt any other girl would dare to do that. Oh, and I still think Kanda is a girl. I love that long hair of his. I'd play with it every day, it's so silky! …what the hell am I thinking, dammit!**

**-**_**Allen Walker.**_

* * *

Yullen and LaviLenalee FTW! Thank you all again for reviewing, and please continue reading! :D  
PS. I'm sorry about the sucky chapter, my beta-reader went overseas and I had to update, if not I would feel like something was wrong T.T so please don't kill me. Please (looks at reader with puppy eyes)?

And if you review I shall update sooner :D


	4. Cuarto Rona

My gosh, thank you all for reviewing. I spent a lot of time on this chapter because my entire brain was jammed after playing DJMax .___.

Anyway, thank you all (again) for your reviews! I appreciated them a lot :D

* * *

_Kanda_

_Thanks, and who the hell are you calling moyashi? BaKanda._

_-Allen_

* * *

-Moyashi

Shut up. You're just like the damn usagi.

-Kanda

* * *

_-BaKanda_

_Did Komui tell you that he was looking for you?_

_-Allen_

* * *

-Moyashi

What the hell!? I went to look for him and he told me that he wasn't looking for me?!

-Kanda

* * *

_-Kanda_

…_idiot._

_-Allen_

_  
PS. I'm not a moyashi.

* * *

_**I wonder if I'm going to get brainwashed by Panda for falling for Lenalee. If Lenalee knew, I wonder what she would do. Hah, probably go out of the room looking for Allen. Sometimes I **_**do**_** regret having chosen to become a Bookman. **

**Well, I guess this was my destiny after all. **_**To love even though I'm unable to. To love even though nobody knows. **_**That was what the fortune-teller said, so long ago, didn't she?**

**Perhaps she was right.**

**-Lavi**

* * *

-Lavi

How's your 'mission'? I didn't tell Kanda and Allen about what you were up to, but I'm really curious. Lavi, you seem… uptight these days. Is the mission too stressful? :0

I hope you're okay ;)

Reply soon,

Lenalee.

* * *

_-Lenalee_

_The mission's going well. I met some interesting people, like a fortune-teller. Thanks for not telling them, I don't want to make them worry (not like Yu will worry). Uh, uptight? Nope. I'm just nervous about what I'll find… I guess._

_(:_

_-Lavi_

* * *

-Lavi

Oh! Well, take care then.

-Lenalee.

PS. Can you tell me what the fortune-teller told you? :P

* * *

_-Lenalee_

_Hm, I'll think about it. (insert laugh here) _

_No, I'm joking. Basically she said something like I'll love without realizing…_

_-Lavi_

* * *

**I don't know why I didn't dare to tell her what the fortune-teller really said. I don't know why. Maybe because I was scared that she would realize that I liked her? Perhaps, but who can tell? **

**Seems that I don't understand much even though I'm a Bookman.**

_**How ironic**_**.**

**-Lavi**

* * *

-Lavi  
Oh, wow. That's interesting! :D I think I'll be slowing you down if we continue like this. I guess we'll talk later.

Take care,

-Lenalee

* * *

_-Lenalee_

_Alright. (Komui doesn't know that you're sending letters, does he?)_

_-Lavi_

* * *

-Lavi

HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO MY LENALEE?!

-(insert picture of rabbit) Komui

* * *

**I've got to go on a mission to Cuarto Rona. Komui told me to pick an Exorcist to go with me, so I think it's going to be Kanda (again?!) since I don't believe I'm ready to talk to Lenalee **_**yet**_**. **

**I guess I'll have to tell Kanda that Komui's looking for him. (I don't think he'll go; XD) Komui better thank me for not taking his sister along. I seriously don't want any rumours going anywhere.**

**Gotta go. **

**-Allen**

* * *

-Kanda

Komui's looking for you (I'm serious.). It's a new mission and you better go, I thought I heard him talking about Komurin just now.

-Allen.

* * *

-_Moyashi_

_What the F (censored)? Komurin? Damn that scientist._

_-Kanda_

* * *

I AM ALLEN FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

-Allen

PS. Idiot BaKanda.

* * *

_(Insert smirk here) stupid moyashi._

_-KANDA._

_PS. Don't send any more letters, my post box is going to explode._

* * *

**Stupid moyashi. I hate idiots who trick me like that, it reminds me of **_**The Boy who cried Wolf**_**. **

**What, a mission with him of all people?! I thought he would choose Lenalee. Seems that my guess was right, about her rejecting him. **

**Talk about dumb moyashi(s). **

**-Kanda**

**PS. Where's Cuarto Rona?**

* * *

**Wonder where Lavi is now. I heard that Allen and Kanda went off on a mission to Cuarto Rona for some Innocence shards, so I'm basically alone now. Hope Inspector Leverrier doesn't come after me for some miniscule thing, cause this time there's not going to be anyone to defend me. I think its basically thanks to Lavi that I had the courage to try synchronizing when the Level Four was wrecking havoc… **

**Although I would like to know why he gripped Leverrier's hand. Feels weird enough to me.**

**-Lenalee**

* * *

_**This chapter sucked (to me). I got a brain-freeze while writing it, T.T **_

I'm so sad I missed the chance to go for AFA x.x nevermind, there's always next year. Urgh. And Lenalee's diary entry reflected what went through my mind when I was reading Book 15.

Reverse (the D.G-M novel) is nice! xD

Author's rant over and out!

Review please.

* * *

**PS. skillPOINT, this is **_not_** a Yuvi fic TwT**


	5. Earthquake Trauma

_Lenalee_

_I'm heading off to Cuan Ciurn now, on the train (as usual). Nothing new, just a quick update. I'll write when I reach there, alright. How's everyone?_

_Lavi_

_PS. Tell Komui that I don't have time to send him a report of our train ride, so I'm asking you to tell him that I'm on the train E01738A. Thanks!

* * *

_

Lavi

Okay, be careful! I don't want to see nii-san and your poor hammer as a couple again. The last time that happened, …never mind.

Lenalee

* * *

Earthquake in Cuan Ciurn

There was an earthquake off Cuan Ciurn of Roliant today. It took place around midnight and caused a train, serial number E01738A, to derail. The train had around 500 passengers, and at reporting time, there were no reported survivors. However, there were around a hundred reported missing.

A building also collapsed, but there were no casualties as nobody was in it at the time of the earthquake.

-**aP

* * *

**

**Oh my gosh, there was an earthquake in Cuan Ciurn!? ...crap. Lavi's train got derailed. _Derailed! _And there were 'no reported survivors'! But Lavi-Lavi can't be ..! It can't be! He has the ability to control nature, doesn't he?! Be right back, I have to talk to nii-san about this.**

* * *

Exorcists Allen Walker and Kanda Yu have arrived in Cuarto Rona at exactly 12.16pm. Currently setting out in search of the Akuma. There have been sightings of Level Threes around the city.

-Finder Number 280, Leron

* * *

-Komui Lee

Komui this is urgent, I've lost track of the Moyas- Walker. My golem seems to be unable to locate Timcanpy, and I'm in one of the deserted areas now. I won't be able to send you any more updates, but I think the Finder can contact you.

-Kanda Yu.

* * *

Statistical Report:

We were unable to send your message to requested party (Komui Lee) at this time, most probably due to the lack of connection. Please try again later.

* * *

**Oh, dang. I can't send the status report to Komui, and the Finder has gone off for the night. This sucks. Where's the moyashi? He said he would be back after he finished off the Akuma.**

* * *

**Where's Kanda? I thought he was here? ...am I lost again? T.T From what Master taught me, this looks like Roliant. I heard that it's quite near Cuan Ciurn where there should be some way to contact Komui?**

**Then it's off to Cuan Ciurn, and Timcanpy seems to be rather low on energy. I put him on standby... Oh gosh if Kanda tries to locate me it's gonna be impossible. Which is yet another reason for me to rush off there.**

* * *

No survivors in train crash

The train that derailed on Monday, E07138A exploded a few hours after we reported that it had been derailed by an earthquake. There had not yet been any rescue operations as hospitals all over Roliant were packed to the maximum and the train was in a rural area, making it hard to reach. There were an estimated 500 passengers, all of whom are believed to have been killed by the impact of the train crash or the earthquake.

**-aP**

* * *

**This is horrible, horrible, horrible. It's as if all my nightmares have come true at the same time. Allen's lost, Kanda's out of contact range and now I find that Lavi's train has _no reported survivors_! How bad can this get? Oh please, please, please let Lavi be alright. Kanda should be okay; the last time something like this happened he came back as if nothing had happened. Allen... Allen should be somewhere, but I'm surprised that he didn't use Tim to contact nii-san? I can only hope for the best; nii-san is sure to forbid me from going out. Sheesh...**

* * *

_Exorcists Lavi, Allen Walker- Reported missing._

_Status of Exorcist Kanda Yu- Condition green, Akuma in the area have mostly been cleared._

_Connection status- Poor._

* * *

**Yay damn cliffie. 'Right guys I'm really really sorry I didn't update for the last month. A very very late Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! (:**

**I guess you guys will want a reason for why I didn't update despite my promises.**

**In December I became addicted to Audition and MapleSEA. Now that I've made my resolution to not play them until it's the holidays, school started -.- Secondary 2 life sucks ): **

**And since this year is streaming year, I'm gonna have to mug x.x my seniors quit, and we have SYF this year. Added stress along with more homework, less slack-time and more CCA practices. **

**So, apologies for the late update and lousy chapter =.=

* * *

**What's gonna happen to Lavi?! Well... he... _I'm not gonna tell you. _

Stay tuned, and I will update ASAP!

PS; Gundam 00 rocks ;OO


	6. 鬼と娘The Ogre and the Maiden

Oh gosh is it February already?! –cries in horror- and I haven't uploaded my other LxL fic, crapppp -.-

Thanks for all the faves and alerts, and here's the next chapter.

* * *

Lavi told me a story a long time ago. I was around eight at the time, and he told me the story of the Ogre and the Maiden.

There was an ogre who lived on the outskirts of a village long ago. The villagers were all terrified of him though he was kindhearted and had done no wrong. Nobody dared to interact more with him than necessary. They only spoke to him when they were delivering his groceries, which was once every fortnight.

In the village itself, there was a beautiful maiden, the daughter of the chief of the village. However, one day, there was a freak accident and she hurt her eyes. One day, this maiden was going to fetch water when she wandered off the path she always took to the river.

Unknowingly she found herself at the ogre's house, who was immediately captivated by her beauty. The ogre asked her to stay the night, and she agreed as it was late, and also as she did not know his true identity.

The next morning, the maiden told him that she would come back, even though he protested. She smiled and left for the village.

Day after day, the maiden would wait for the ogre to call for her at the entrance of the woods.

Then the villagers, concerned for her safety, told her the truth – that she was visiting no Man, but it was an ogre.

She was undeterred and continued visiting him. That was when the villagers stepped in.

One night, they stormed the ogre's house with flaming torches and exiled him from their village. He promised them that he would not visit the maiden again and at the entrance of the woods, he bade the maiden farewell.

She cried for him, tearing off her bandages in the process. The first and last time she saw him, he cried and fled the village.

* * *

**Exorcist Allen Walker: **

**Status: Yellow**

**Connection status: Poor.**

**Location: Cuan Ciurn, Roliant.**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**

**Exorcist Lavi:**

**Status: Crimson, all Exorcists in Cuan Ciurn, Roliant to carry out mass search.**

**Connection status: Black.**

**Location: Cuan Ciurn, Roliant – Train E07138A.

* * *

**_Komui, this is Exorcist Kanda Yu. Finder has gone to look for Moya- Allen Walker, backup needed. Swarms of Level Threes incoming._

_Over._

* * *

Nii-san has just asked me to look for Kanda in Cuarto Rona because Allen-kun has disappeared (again…). I heard that he and Lavi are both in Cuan Ciurn, so I can only hope for the best.

Have to prepare for mission now, will talk later. But I've just realized that perhaps the Ogre and the Maiden relates to me… too well.

_Lavi…

* * *

_**I'm in Cuan Ciurn now, and it's SNOWING. (bottom line: I'm freezing). Wonder where Kanda is. Tim's energy levels are back to normal, but I don't want to risk it. Wandering in town now, staying over at an inn. Owner is friendly, no sign of Akuma as yet. Heard that Lavi's in the area and reported missing.**

**May search for him if possible.**

**Attached is the namecard I got of the inn.**

**Amuka Inn.**

_**Maitu Katmine.

* * *

**_(THIS IS THOUGHTS AND NOT WRITTEN!)

_If I could live my life again, I wonder what I would do._

_I wish my sins could all be allowed through a miracle._

_Perhaps I would have the courage to tell her._

_Then again, perhaps I wouldn't have met her._

_Perhaps I wouldn't have met Yuu, Allen, Gramps… and all of them._

_Maybe, just maybe, I would be happy to remain a Bookman, if just for the sake of being with them._

_I'm losing control of my body. The other 'me' is taking over. My time as an Exorcist is almost up. Soon I'd have forgotten the identity of the name Lavi. My next name is to be Mukito._

* * *

(WRITTEN!)

**In Cuarto Rona now. Level threes were swarming like locusts. Maybe worse. Gosh, if Kanda hadn't used Nigentou I think we'd both have died. Bad thing is that there's no communications available here, and our golems have trouble connecting to the Order. **

**Gosh, where's Lavi. I need---AKU--- (smudged)eak attack.

* * *

**Damn those Akuma, I swear their stealthing is improving.

* * *

Review please, I took a lot of time thinking up this chapter -.-

The Ogre and the Maiden's storyline is taken from "鬼と娘" by Vocaloid KAITO.

And Lavi's thoughts are taken from 炉心融解[Meltdown] by Vocaloid Rin Kagamine.

I'm officially addicted to Vocaloids, so updates are severely slowed.

Finally, there was a sign of Lavi today! (:

Yea but it's not exactly what I intended it to be. Twisted it according to my fancies, and this was the result.

Allegro – Agitate, ja ne ! REVIEW!

* * *

(P.S. My co-authors on Why we hate Leverrier are lazing around and so am I. Updates will be slower than this, I promise.)

Xoxo, abilityPOINT.


	7. Ash Like Snow

Review please! They are deeply appreciated. Please tell me if you don't understand anything and I will explain it all in the next chapter.  
Also, apologies for the late update. x.x

(love), abilityPOINT.

PS. The chapter title is based on the Gundam 00 opening, Ash Like Snow by The Brilliant Green. :D

* * *

He sucked in his breath at the sight before him.  
Mangled clothes littered the ground, and the ash and dust that covered the ground looked like a grey blanket had enveloped the land. The scene was almost reminiscent of a battleground, save for the fact that no weapons had been used.  
"...were we too late?"

* * *

The wind howled in his ears as he stumbled across the barren land. All he could see was ash. Ash and dust.

Ash and dust... wasn't that the tell-tale sign of an Akuma?

And then everything went black.

* * *

**I woke up at dawn today.**

**The sun was already up, even in such a place. It's been there since such a long time ago, since the first 'me' was born.**

**Which leads me to wonder, how long ago was _that_? A few decades? A century? And yet in such a long time, 'I' have never found happiness.**

**..not like I am _allowed_ to have them.**

**Anyway, the lack of water in this place is driving me mad, and something tells me that someone is waiting for me. **

**Yes, someone is waiting for me. But I can't remember who that is. I wonder why.**

**_Isn't the Bookman supposed to have a memory that remembers every face, every detail, every... every... everything?_ **

**I don't know what this means. The voices of my ancestors are echoing in my head as I begin to walk towards nowhere.**

**-Lavi  
**

* * *

**Where the HELL is he? The moyashi is missing. MISSING. Even Komui can't believe it. How can an Exorcist get lost when he has the most direction-orientated golem in the **entire** Black Order?**

* * *

**I can't find Lavi. I've searched the entire Cuatro Rona. No sign of red hair. No eyepatch. No goofy smiles. No idiotic and perverted jokes.**

**I've realised something.**

**Without Lavi, my life is empty.**

**Without Lavi, it's as though the world -no, my world- has lost its colour. The world is a monotonous place without the vibrant colour that Lavi's jokes brought, however sick and idiotic they were. **

**I...I... I love you, Lavi.**

**I'm so sorry, I've been so slow. I've been so blind, it shocks myself.**

_**And now it may be too late.**_

_**-Lenalee  
**_

* * *

**I'm exhausted, and food seems to be taking leave from my world. Which, honestly, isn't very encouraging. **

**The wind seems unusually harsh today. I wonder why? **

**Has there been a fire nearby?**

**Because there's ash flying everywhere around me, and...**

Good morning, Allen Walker.

**WHAT THE HELL?**

**~Allen  
**

* * *

**It's my turn to take the guard while Kanda's sleeping.**

**Wait a minute, there's something rustling behind me.  
**

* * *

_L- There's a dark aura around today. We'll keep watch together. (kanda)  
_

* * *

And then the ash started falling. The same ash that fell in Allen's world, fell in Lavi's, in Lenalee's, in Kanda's.

And it refused to stop. The wind stopped blowing, the moon began to shine. But the ash would not stop.

Bewildered faces looked at each other, seeking for the cause of the ash-fall.

* * *

**I'm sitting on top of a pile of ash. Yesterday's watch ended with a burst of burning ashes, and they fell to the ground in piles, like snow.**

_**Ash like snow.**_

**Kanda is lying on his side on the makeshift bed. And he looks tired.**

**There's something wrong if Kanda is tired.**_**  
**_**  
He can go on missions consecutively, coming back from one just to set off on another the very next day.**

****

And it's hard to cause him to be in the least bit tired. Sure, he is a deep sleeper, but he wakes up very easily. Just a little rustle of leaves and he would be up, Mugen drawn.

Now, when he sleeps, he can sleep all the way through the birds chirping in the morning, and only when I call his name will he wake up.

**And that means that something is really, really wrong.**

**I can't wait to go back to the Order. Connection here is so weak I can't even get back to nii-san.  
**

* * *

**I'm so tired that I don't know what I'm going to do. And I want to know who was the one who wrote that "Good Morning, Allen Walker" in the previous entry. As far as I know, I only left this book when I was wondering about the ash.**

_**Allen**_

* * *

I'll be honest and come clean. This chapter is rather 'broken' at parts because it wasn't written like this originally. It was in narrative form. :/

And the text that is not bolded/italicized/underlined is narrated, while the underlined words are not written by Allen.

Lavi came out today! ^ ^


End file.
